When Rainsford said "When a family loses a beloved dog, they go out and buy another quickly before the self-pity replaces that life. When a father dies, there is only violence. I am violent" (8), I was reminded of when my first dog died. Boomer had been in my life literally since birth. With me being the oldest in the family, I always called him my big brother, and he often times acted like it. When I was thirteen my family made the painful decision that it was time to put Boomer down. The decision was made while I was at summer camp, but my parents waited to take him in until I got home so that I could say goodbye. However, they didn’t wait to go looking for a new dog. I remember how sad the day that we put him down was. On the flipside, we spend that night getting ready for the new dog. We purged the house of Boomer’s old things, then we went to the pet store to get new things. We even came up with her name, Bailee. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Bailee, but even now, eight years later, I still miss Boomer. He was my first dog, and I have a ton of memories with him. My parents’ decision to look for Bailee before he died was most likely for my siblings’ sake. They were all very young when it happened, so having a new dog to look forward to probably made the situation a lot easier to swallow. We now have lots of great memories with Bailee, and we even have a second dog now, Bandit.
 |
| Me with Bailee(r.) and Bandit(l.) |
Fortunately, I’ve never suffered the loss of a parent, or even a grandparent, but I have suffered tragedy in my life. Last fall, my best friend was diagnosed with HIV. When he told me, all I could do was cry my eyes out. I was confused and angry. I didn’t understand why G-d would do something like this to someone as amazing and good-natured as my friend. I know that this situation isn’t as tragic as losing a parent, but to me, hearing this news meant that I had lost the friend that I knew. Our lives were never going to be the same, and I was upset by that. I think that when we react with rage, it’s because we know that we can’t change what is happening to us. Rainsford was most likely feeling the same way. He felt the void left by absence of his father with his death. Some people react to death with sadness, some with celebration of the person’s life. For him, anger and violence were his outlets.
Tamar--love the picture. <3
ReplyDeleteI think we sometimes underestimate the grief we feel at the loss of a pet. While it is not equivalent to the loss of a parent, it is definitely painful, the loss of a family member and friend.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis. That's a tough one.
I really enjoyed your blog. I have a pet dog named Brandy Rose (We also call her Boo) and I know I would be devastated if I lost her. I also had a dog as a child named Smokey but he kept getting loose and running away so we had to get rid of him. It was really sad to get rid of Smokey as a child and until we got Brandy years ago, I hadn’t had a dog since Smokey and had wanted one so much. I still remember the day we got Brandy perfectly and I do have a few memories left of Smokey, not many though because we got rid of him when I was a toddler but I do treasure the few memories I have of Smokey as well as treasuring all the moments I have had with Brandy so far and I’m happy you treasure the moments you had with Boomer.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry you had to lose Boomer but I am relieved to know that your parents at least waited until you returned from summer camp to let you say goodbye to him. I’m glad you have Bailee and Bandit to keep you and your family company now. I always consider pets to be family too so losing a pet is like losing a family member to me.
I remember one time I thought Brandy had run away. I was so worried about her and looked everywhere for her up to the point where I got so worried about her that I started crying. It turns out my dad had her all along. He went for a drive and took her with him. I was so relieved that Brandy was ok.
I think you are really lucky to have not suffered the loss of a parent or grandparent. I have lost both of my grandmothers and one grandfather. It was very sad to ordeal but I think it was harder for me when my sister died six years ago from today. Life has not been the same for my family since my sister passed away.
I have also had a friend die while we were in high school. He did not die of an HIV though. He was beaten to death. I am sorry about your best friend. Losing anyone we care about in life is a hard thing to endure and I agree with you that everyone deals with death in different ways.